This morning I was dealing with an issue that involved my two children ages 10 & 12 and it hit me that the ideas of right, wrong and most importantly fair are much more subjective than I thought. What really made my mind tick was that fairness is probably one of the most important concepts to have in your life but many times what seems fair to you, doesn’t seem fair to others.
Certainly, at the child level fair is much more selfish than it is as an adult. I mean by the time we all grow up, we know how to judge things fairly, how to be fair and how to drive towards fairness, right? We know how to avoid taking advantage of people or situations, we know how to allow people to have their own voices or opinions, heck we even know how to merge two lanes of traffic into one, right? So knowing all of this is great, but acting on this may be a whole nother story.
Maybe I’m confusing fair with polite or even just. Or maybe I’m thinking that fair should have a higher priority in our lives. When I think of war and conflict, I can’t help but think that both sides think they’re right, but I have a tough time thinking that both sides believe they’re being fair. I mean isn’t war typically started with someone thinking, ‘Hey, you have what I want!’? That doesn’t sound fair to me.
So as a parent teaching my children about right, wrong and fair is much more difficult than I thought. You have to consider their point of view, their perspective and their feelings. You have to look at a conflict through their eyes and then you have to figure out how to teach them that the world isn’t fair. However, you also want to teach them to act and treat each other fair. A parent’s job isn’t easy, in fact you could say that it isn’t fair.
What do you think?